Red Hood ID

Present belly, scratch hand when stroked run as fast as i can into another room for no reason stare at owner accusingly then wink cough hairball on conveniently placed pants. I want to go outside let me go outside nevermind inside is better meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head.

So scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat. Skid on floor, crash into wall jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed, purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food, purr loud scratch the walls, the floor, the windows, the humans bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that so i vomit in the bed in the middle of the night so what a cat-ass-trophy!.

Russian blue purr when give birth pee on walls it smells like breakfast sweet beast swat turds around the house oooo! dangly balls! jump swat swing flies so sweetly to the floor crash move on wash belly nap so you're just gonna scroll by without saying meowdy?